TODAY'S CHURCH

We have a 3 year old who can be clever and at the same time quite strong willed. Time after time well thought out (and some not so thought out) responses come back starting with the abrasive sound of the word ‘NO’. I am sure from time to time I have modeled this poor behavior. I have to say I am truly repentant at this point and vow to do better at choosing my words, even when the answer may ultimately
 be a NO.

One day as I was playing with Parker I had this great idea. A game I termed "The Positive Game”. I would intentionally ask questions to Parker that he could honestly, and rightfully answer ‘No’ but the first rule to the game is you are not allowed to use the word ‘NO’ at all. Your first response to the question should be something positive. If you can do it, you get a point. (you can play this at dinner time or in the car on a trip).

So for example, you might ask “Parker are you wearing shorts today?” Parker could get a point by responding like this, “I like wearing shorts, but today I am wearing jeans!”

First the questions must be black and white, yes or no type questions. So here are some example questions (for younger kids) and possible answers your kids might use:
• Does our car fly like a plane in the air? (“I would love to be a pilot someday, but cars are meant to stay on the ground!”)
• Can you eat your soup with a fork? (“It is a yummy thick soup but I still prefer a spoon.”)
• Would you like to eat (something they don’t like) for dinner tonight? (“I would be grateful for anything at all, but mostly I would like pizza!)
• Would you give up your video games for the Polka Dancing Channel? (“The arts are wonderful, but watching TV doesn’t exercise my heart like the Wii.”)

Later that day, I offered to make Parker a deal (because he was not eating his lunch). I said, “Parker, how about I start your computer I-SPY game (he already wanted to play this) while you finish your lunch?”

He responded immediately just as he had been trained, “That sounds like a great idea! But its not!” So when you are a parent, sometimes baby steps will have to satisfy us. We can try again tomorrow, and model with consistency. By the way this game is not just for kids!

Moms and Dads how often do your kids ask you, “Can I have that new super mega ultra TOY 3.0?” We are inclined to just say, “NO.” or maybe ask what does it cost before we then say “NO!!” How about this response? “That toy looks like a lot of fun; I would love for you to have it. Maybe you could offer to rake leaves on our block and save up for it. Maybe it will go on sale soon.” That way if the answer is no, it’s because the child chose not to earn the money, not because you refused to pony up the dough.

Side bar- you might have to clarify when you intend to play the game. I asked my wife, “Honey are you a race car driver?” She cleverly replied, “Why, am I racing through your mind?” To which I responded, “That would be a great answer; if only we were playing the pick-up line game!”